What a “Level” Means to Me

I came to Shambhala in the autumn of 2008 as a spiritual seeker, one who knew that some aspect of my life was missing and trying everything under the sun to fill that void.  I had read a book by Lama Surya Das about the Four Noble Truths and it clicked within me that meditation was a huge part of what I needed.  I tried it for the first time at Shambhala and practiced whenever I could, but nothing stuck.  I was still seeking out other practices like chanting and learning astrology, and again, nothing stuck.

Five years later, I came back to Shambhala because I was sick, unemployed, and needed to fill my time with something meaningful.  So I tried again with the first weekend retreat of the Way of Shambhala series, Level 1: The Art of Being Human.  I believed that meditating with a group for several hours a day would be the fix I needed to revive my practice, join a community and make positive changes in my life.

Boy, was I on point!

To be honest, I didn’t get the benefit of it right away.  The class really made me think about what it meant to be “Basically Good” and still be sick, unemployed, and a general mess.  I fought against the teachings because I believed that meditation is what makes one perfect instead of a meditator with flaws.  I wanted to be perfect and not be me.

Despite my ranting against what was presented, I found a community of like-minded people to share issues we had and to practice together.  My practice went from nothing to 3 times a week.  And while I was still sick, actually contemplating death, I found that practice to be more relevant than ever.  Through a very dark period, meditation, the community and the concept of basic goodness sustained within me the will to live.  I am ever grateful.

Since those days, I have taken Level 2 and 3, still fighting as usual with what is presented and increasing my meditation practice.  What a “Level” means to me is the opportunity to really look at my own mind and challenge my fixed ideas of what is and isn’t.  It is a stepping stone to a more sustainable practice and a cohort of beautiful people to whom I remain accountable.  A Level is a place I go when I have reached a plateau in my practice and need a bit of encouragement.  Most importantly, a Level is where I go to give thanks for my life and share my story to others with the hope that it could benefit one sentient being.  Maybe even you.

Thank you for listening.

–Akiba Barberousse